By Josh Miller
Americans were taught that their kingdom is civilized and humane. yet, too frequently, U.S. activities were uncivilized and inhumane.”
Shedding gentle on 500 years of suppression, this surprising exposé finds the pivotal position in American historical past performed by means of its so much invisible minorityzombies.
From colonization and revolution to international Wars and international hegemony, A Zombie’s heritage of the United States tells the robust and relocating tales of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:
The zombie bloodbath of eu colonists at Plymouth Rock
The ugly killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis through his fellow explorer William Clark
The doomed security of the Alamo opposed to hordes of the attacking undead
The heroic, platoon-saving cost right into a hail of German fireplace by way of an undead Lt. Audie Murphy
The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and frequently misplaced) zombies into space
The anti-terrorist application to prevent the weaponization of the zombie virus
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Extra resources for A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead
The carnage that followed saw the implementation of the “see-and-shoot” law in Boston. The see-and-shoot law legally required citizens to attack and kill any zombie they saw. Those witnessed not aiding others in a zombie attack could be punished with a fine or jail time. Archaic but effective, see-and-shoot laws quickly spread to several other cities. New York was still practicing see-andshoot until establishing official police services in 1845. In 1751 there was The First Cleanse, or Harron’s War (named after Bishop John Harron, who championed the event), a series of organized zombie purges throughout the colonies from May through August.
Things had reached a breaking point. By the time the Second Continental Congress met the following year, the first shots of the Revolutionary War had already been fired. The Unholy Ground Soon the thing was biting at us and the flames spread. I did run. ” Tories owned well over half of the property in the city, and half the members of the Chamber of Commerce were avowed Loyalists. Needless to say, there was no welcoming parade to greet Washington and his men. Unwelcome in most of the city’s more respectable establishments, Washington’s men frequented a section of the city known as the Holy Ground, a foul slum and brothel 40 A Revolting Revolution district west of the Commons, much of which was owned by Trinity Church (Church of England), hence the seemingly incongruous name.
147 million km) of France’s claim to the vast Louisiana Territory (which Napoleon had recently won from Spain). This purchase would prove to be one of the most 59 A Zombie’s History of tHe United stAtes important real-estate transactions in recorded history. 75 million for a total cost of $15 million. That is $217 billion when adjusted for today’s inflation, and considering that, for example, $551 billion was spent on the most recent invasion of Iraq, any way you look at it, Jefferson got a pretty fantastic deal for doubling the size of the country.